Are you prepared?

So do you think you are REALLY prepared for this ride?  You may not be…..keep reading!

Dear Obnoxious Duck:

I am looking forward to ruining my truck and trailer on the rocks and boulders, drinking sulfur water, and dealing with searingly hot weather. I’ve been diligently practicing for the ride by jumping my horse off large boulders, trotting and sliding through bogs of sticky clay, and making my horse drink from oily water puddles around the local oil wells, all this while having various sized snakes tied to the saddle.

For lack of having any mountain lions available to train with, I have been throwing large house cats at the horse on a weekly basis and will increase the frequency as the ride gets closer, although it’s getting harder and harder to catch the cats. I have pushed my fellow riders off of steep trails a few times now and must say, I’m getting pretty good at it, but must admit, its getting hard to find people to ride with. It’s a real commitment riding like this, but I think I’ll be ready for the ride in March. If you can think of anything I’ve missed, let me know.

I’ll be riding on days 1 and 3, the 22nd and 24th, and I’ll be glad to help the day I don’t ride.

Sincerely,

Diane Farnsworth