Aussie Riders

Aussie Riders

or Tie me Kangaroo down, mate


There’s a land down under where the kangaroos roam

A few riders here proudly call it their home

From the bottom of the world come these folks of renown

Does that mean they actually ride upside down?


Vivacious Lee-Anne is the wife of Charlie

Pretty Carmen’s got Pete, a man so gnarly

Then there’s Joe from Big Mo, the honorary Aussie

He loves to ride and take care of his hossie


Do they now and then put shrimp on the bar-bee?

Have they ever met a man named Crocodile Dundee?

Is this the country of success and great feats

Or the land that was settled by thieves, crooks and cheats?


Charlie and Joe are the Austro-Missourian team

When riding they get up a head of steam

Why do they ride so fast yet so humbly?

It’s because they trained on an ornery brumby


There’s one major problem when these two you meet

Which one’s Charlie and which one’s Pete?

One is bald but so is the other

To find who’s who must we ask their mother?


They say they’re twins born two years apart

One needed more time to get out of the cart

To tell which is which you need not throw a dart

The determining factor is the smell of their fart


These Aussies are cool, they’re really great folks

But all day we must listen to their terrible jokes

They can be patriotic as one of them brags

Bout his country, Australia, but enough of those flags


When asking for help they will say, “G’day, mate,

Is this Kansas or Utah, can you tell me which state?

They get quite confused ‘bout their XP location

Cause their GPS’s are programmed for an alien nation




They have their slang, as when we say “no longer”

In Australian, it’s “dry as a dead dingo’s donger”

When we say “crew” they say “strappers”

When drunk they turn into Karaoke rappers


Where do you look for an Australian bruiser?

Seek not far, they’re down at the boozer

Why did they come to this XP ride?

To drink lots of booze and really get fried

How many Aussies does it take to screw

a light bulb into a socket or two?

You might think the answer is found in these four

But they can’t even find the bathroom door


They’re a delightful gang full of vinegar and piss

Goose them a little and they’ll give you a kiss

They asked for a poem and now a poem they got

They can rest satisfied and go smoke their pot


At the XP ride’s end they’re the ones we will talk about

As they return home from this very long walk about

Yes, putting up with storms, heat, thunder and hail

You know they had fun on the XP trail