or Tie me Kangaroo down, mate
There’s a land down under where the kangaroos roam
A few riders here proudly call it their home
From the bottom of the world come these folks of renown
Does that mean they actually ride upside down?
Vivacious Lee-Anne is the wife of Charlie
Pretty Carmen’s got Pete, a man so gnarly
Then there’s Joe from Big Mo, the honorary Aussie
He loves to ride and take care of his hossie
Do they now and then put shrimp on the bar-bee?
Have they ever met a man named Crocodile Dundee?
Is this the country of success and great feats
Or the land that was settled by thieves, crooks and cheats?
Charlie and Joe are the Austro-Missourian team
When riding they get up a head of steam
Why do they ride so fast yet so humbly?
It’s because they trained on an ornery brumby
There’s one major problem when these two you meet
Which one’s Charlie and which one’s Pete?
One is bald but so is the other
To find who’s who must we ask their mother?
They say they’re twins born two years apart
One needed more time to get out of the cart
To tell which is which you need not throw a dart
The determining factor is the smell of their fart
These Aussies are cool, they’re really great folks
But all day we must listen to their terrible jokes
They can be patriotic as one of them brags
‘Bout his country, Australia, but enough of those flags
When asking for help they will say, “G’day, mate,
Is this Kansas or Utah, can you tell me which state?
They get quite confused ‘bout their XP location
Cause their GPS’s are programmed for an alien nation
They have their slang, as when we say “no longer”
In Australian, it’s “dry as a dead dingo’s donger”
When we say “crew” they say “strappers”
When drunk they turn into Karaoke rappers
Where do you look for an Australian bruiser?
Seek not far, they’re down at the boozer
Why did they come to this XP ride?
To drink lots of booze and really get fried
How many Aussies does it take to screw
a light bulb into a socket or two?
You might think the answer is found in these four
But they can’t even find the bathroom door
They’re a delightful gang full of vinegar and piss
Goose them a little and they’ll give you a kiss
They asked for a poem and now a poem they got
They can rest satisfied and go smoke their pot
At the XP ride’s end they’re the ones we will talk about
As they return home from this very long walk about
Yes, putting up with storms, heat, thunder and hail
You know they had fun on the XP trail