The Boss

The Boss

5/30/2011

 

There comes a time in every marriage

As to who does the work and who sits in the carriage?

Yes, in every relationship there is a dilemma

And the person in charge, guys, ain’t us, it’s them-ma

 

When she said “Yes” it was holy matrimony

But the phrase “thick and thin” was a lot of baloney

Only one will win when the knot is tied

And it won’t be the groom, it’ll be the bride

 

So who’s the boss, who’s top banana?

Who’s the one who wears the bandanna?

Who wears the pants and calls the shots?

Who eats chocolate while we clean the pots?

 

She’s the queen and we’re the paupers

We bring home the bacon while they’re the shoppers

We may have thought that we’re King Kong

Yet no matter what, we’re always so wrong

 

They used to say a man’s home is his castle

But even crossing the moat is quite a hassle

Do this, do that,” the chant never ends

In a downward spiral the curve always trends

 

When in bed they complain about our mast

A little to the left and not so fast

Dear, I’m ready for my post-coital cigarette

Now get me a towel, this spot’s kind of wet”

 

When it gets rough you better watch out

As she starts to complain and bitch and pout

But you can’t talk back ‘cause if she’s got an option

You’ll be out the door and up for adoption

 

If it’s ever a question of you or her horse

You know who she’ll pick – the horse, of course

It’ll be time to move and pack our bags quick

Before our seats feel the sting of a kick

 

When driving a rig, it gets even worse

Sometimes it feels like driving a hearse

You say left but she says right

When she’s correct again, our knuckles we bite

 

We think it’s up but she says down

To get to the gas station in the next town

She can’t be right, but what do we know?

Left up to us we would need a tow

 

She’s in charge when you face a decision

While you get heckled and receive much derision

There are two ways to argue with a woman who’s strong

The problem is that that they’re both always wrong

 

But what they don’t know is we don’t want the job

We’d much rather hang and just be a slob

Let them worry if they want it so bad

They’ll never know that they’ve been had

 

Yes, the price is too high to be number one

We’d rather just play and have some fun

Bring us the beer, turn on the TV

Can’t you be quiet and just let us be

 

To do anything you need the green light

It’s not fair, they don’t care, but it just ain’t right

So those magic words that we use every year

Are the quickest way out as we say, “Yes, dear”

 

Yet for all their shortcomings and annoying way

They have grace and charm, we have to say

As our hair turns gray at a new day’s dawn

We let all our frustrations and anger be gone

 

Yes, you’re our sweet nookims, no matter what

It gets rough at times, that‘s normal, but

You bring us such joy, we’ll have you know,

You’re our honeys forever, we love you so