RECALCULATING
June 12, 2011
I used to trust my GPS
But my faith is waning I must confess
The lady in the box now says with glee
“Don’t you dare disagree with me”
I can program the language and accent, it’s true
But when I ask for English, she says “Parlez vous?”
Whether she’ll help me or not I haven’t a clue
When I try to be nice she says “Merci beaucoup”
So I program in my watering spot
The coordinates are in, I’m worrying not
Then I find myself lost in a field of hay
She says “Didn’t I tell you not to go that way?!”
Trying again I end up in Timbuktu
I yell at her till my face is blue
As I hope for clarity just this once
She says “Get it together. You’re such a dunce”
So I go down a road then have to turn back
I hear “You dope, I said left at the yak”
The direction was wrong, but who’s counting now?
She says “Sorry, I meant go right at the cow”
I finally had it with this voice from a box
I threatened to give her electric shocks
“Get it right this time, honey, I’m awaiting”
She finally says “Recalculating”