The Boss
The Boss
5/30/2011
There comes a time in every marriage
As to who does the work and who sits in the carriage?
Yes, in every relationship there is a dilemma
And the person in charge, guys, ain’t us, it’s them-ma
When she said “Yes” it was holy matrimony
But the phrase “thick and thin” was a lot of baloney
Only one will win when the knot is tied
And it won’t be the groom, it’ll be the bride
So who’s the boss, who’s top banana?
Who’s the one who wears the bandanna?
Who wears the pants and calls the shots?
Who eats chocolate while we clean the pots?
She’s the queen and we’re the paupers
We bring home the bacon while they’re the shoppers
We may have thought that we’re King Kong
Yet no matter what, we’re always so wrong
They used to say a man’s home is his castle
But even crossing the moat is quite a hassle
“Do this, do that,” the chant never ends
In a downward spiral the curve always trends
When in bed they complain about our mast
A little to the left and not so fast
“Dear, I’m ready for my post-coital cigarette
Now get me a towel, this spot’s kind of wet”
When it gets rough you better watch out
As she starts to complain and bitch and pout
But you can’t talk back ‘cause if she’s got an option
You’ll be out the door and up for adoption
If it’s ever a question of you or her horse
You know who she’ll pick – the horse, of course
It’ll be time to move and pack our bags quick
Before our seats feel the sting of a kick
When driving a rig, it gets even worse
Sometimes it feels like driving a hearse
You say left but she says right
When she’s correct again, our knuckles we bite
We think it’s up but she says down
To get to the gas station in the next town
She can’t be right, but what do we know?
Left up to us we would need a tow
She’s in charge when you face a decision
While you get heckled and receive much derision
There are two ways to argue with a woman who’s strong
The problem is that that they’re both always wrong
But what they don’t know is we don’t want the job
We’d much rather hang and just be a slob
Let them worry if they want it so bad
They’ll never know that they’ve been had
Yes, the price is too high to be number one
We’d rather just play and have some fun
Bring us the beer, turn on the TV
Can’t you be quiet and just let us be
To do anything you need the green light
It’s not fair, they don’t care, but it just ain’t right
So those magic words that we use every year
Are the quickest way out as we say, “Yes, dear”
Yet for all their shortcomings and annoying way
They have grace and charm, we have to say
As our hair turns gray at a new day’s dawn
We let all our frustrations and anger be gone
Yes, you’re our sweet nookims, no matter what
It gets rough at times, that‘s normal, but
You bring us such joy, we’ll have you know,
You’re our honeys forever, we love you so